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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28690227">water against the rocks</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/gridgore/pseuds/gridgore'>gridgore</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hades (Video Game 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Friends to Lovers, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Beta Read, Polyamorous Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:33:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,767</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28690227</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/gridgore/pseuds/gridgore</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Did Thanatos reap his soul, he wondered. Did he catch him as he fell, lowering him gently into the blood of the Styx? He doubted it, Death was always busy, but he wondered if in those moments, the cold of his skin would match his. Death and the dead: two players in a game of fates. </p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Megaera/Zagreus (Hades Video Game) Mention, Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>water against the rocks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kissing death seems like such an absurd concept to mortals. </p><p>What would a kiss from death feel like? Perhaps it in and of itself would kill you- sever the tie between your soul and your body with the gentle, practised precision of a seamstress. Would the slide of his lips be painful? Would the puff of his breath be icy cold? Zagreus... always did wonder. A faint thrumming in the back of his mind, compelling him to reach out to Thanatos- close the distance. But as much as others would refute it, Zagreus did in fact have common sense. And a heart bigger than his body. He wasn’t about to put Thanatos is such an uncomfortable position. But the thrumming never did cease- would get louder and louder when his eyes fogged over with a sombre green glow. When Thanatos would emerge just floating over the magma of Asphodel, hovering just out of distance. When he would reach out his hand, carrying a centaur heart as a gift, Zagreus’ body would scream for him to come just a bit closer; bypass the centaur heart and slot their hands together. The touch of death, it would seem, he knew both intimately but also, not at all.<br/>Did Thanatos reap his soul, he wondered. Did he catch him as he fell, lowering him gently into the blood of the Styx? He doubted it, Death was always busy, but he wondered if in those moments, the cold of his skin would match his. Death and the dead: two players in a game of fates. <br/><br/></p><p>Zagreus would emerge from the Styx, blood running through his brow and around his eyes, soaked to the bone, and watch the balcony through his red vision. It was the first place he looked, and the few times that Thanatos did loom, Zagreus would feel his heart rise to his throat and come to settle there, growing new veins and arteries and attaching itself to the walls as if making a new home in that spot. His flame-licked feet would carry him across the regal carpets and into his viewing spot, and Thanatos would greet him. “You’ve come back.”<br/>“Yes, I seem to keep doing that.”<br/>Thanatos is as quiet as ever, eyes flicking over Zagreus’ face like he’ll forget it. “How long are you staying this time?”<br/>“I... won’t be long, Than. Though considering how my escape attempts have been going so far, you can assume I’ll be back in no time.” Zagreus moves directly beside Thanatos and Thanatos, instead of making room, steps back entirely.<br/>“Good. Then I’ll see you when you next come back.”<br/>Zagreus jerks up and twists towards Thanatos, already reaching out his hand in a brief moment of blind panic. “Than, wait!” But with a wave of his scythe, the God of Death is gone, leaving a mild green glow in his wake. Zagreus lowers his hand and groans. So fleeting were these conversations. The nectar burns a hole in his pocket.</p><p>-</p><p>The next time he sees Thanatos, Zagreus approaches him hand-first, holding the bottle of nectar by its belly. Thanatos is openly puzzled. “You’re... giving this to me?” Zagreus, tongue-tied for the first time in his life, nods, then attempts to cover up his nervousness.<br/>“Er, yes. Yes I am. I’m... sorry. I know how hard everything about this situation has been on you, and I know this doesn’t fix anything but I still want you to have it.” Thanatos sighs, the bottle still held between them, like a contract of friendship.<br/>“I just don’t understand why you’re so desperate to leave. Do you really hate it that much? Do you really not care about those you’ll leave behind?”<br/>“It’s not that, Than, I care about you. A lot. But what would you do in my situation? How am I just supposed to stand around knowing that my mother is out there?”<br/>Thanatos absently rubs his wrist, averting his eyes for a brief moment. “I don’t know what I would do, Zag. I just know I...” He cuts himself short, groaning. “Okay, fine, give me that nectar. Thank you, Zag. It’s a thoughtful gift. And here, take this. I hope it can assist you in the times I can’t be there to do it myself.”<br/>They exchange their gifts, and Thanatos drops the crystallised butterfly in the palm of his open hand. Zagreus regards it with unbridled awe and meets Thanatos’ eyes with... something flickering just beyond his pupil. Thanatos pretends that he doesn’t see it. “Than, thank you. This is beautiful.” He grins and reaches up to his hair. “Can you help me clip it in?”<br/>“It’s supposed to clip onto your clothes, Zag, and you know how to put it in your hair anyway.”<br/>“Maybe I just want you to help me, come on.” Thanatos’ expression betrays how he feels about the irony in that sentence. Zagreus stifles a laugh. “Please?”<br/>With a familiar sigh of irritation that’s mostly for show, Thanatos plucks the butterfly from Zagreus’ hand and steps into his space, reaching down to touch Zagreus’ hair. And of course it’s soft. Of course it’s silky and wonderful and thick, or maybe it’s coarse and straw like and covered in blood and Thanatos is too overwhelmingly star struck by the other man that he can’t tell the difference. But it’s good, even if, after clipping it in, Thanatos snatches his hand away like it burns. He meets Zagreus’ eyes, and there is that look again. The one he tries constantly to forget exists, perpetually pounding behind his eyes like a constant current of water against rocks. “Your hands are cold. Should’ve expected that, really.”<br/>“Sorry?”<br/>“When you touched my hand. I think maybe I was expecting you to defy the idea of the ‘cold touch of death’, you know?”<br/>“It’s cold in this room, Zag, give me a break.” Something seems to click into place in Thanatos’ brain, and his demeanour changes to something far more professional. “Back to work, then. I’ll see you next time you die.”<br/>“...Yes, see you Than.” Thanatos gives him a short nod and then vanishes, leaving Zagreus stunned in his wake. So, was Thanatos... warm? If there was perhaps a roaring fire heating the room, would he feel blood pumping through those hands of his? Warm Death- such an alien thought.</p><p>-</p><p>Thanatos joins him in Elysium. The bell tolls and he’s before him, grass dying under his feet where he lands, feet on the ground for once. “The grass is nice.” He says idly, and Zagreus smiles. <br/>“I’ve never really seen you walk.”<br/>“And you still haven’t; I’m standing.”<br/>Zagreus leans on his sword. This area is shockingly clear, for now. Thanatos looks down at his bare feet, toes curled in the grass. “This feels... mortal.”<br/>“How so?” Thanatos is embarrassed, he can tell.<br/>“I just feel... rooted. Like I’m attached to the ground by the soles of my feet.”<br/>“What’s it like? The mortal realm; Greece?”<br/>The question catches Thanatos off guard, and his eyes meet Zagreus’, swimming with emotion, and decides to indulge him. “It’s cold. Demeter has frozen over most of the land, but it is usually warm. Greece has beautiful white light, it makes the buildings look like they’re glittering.” Zagreus listens with intense interest, his eyes getting brighter and brighter. “The cold is making it difficult for people to live. The ground is too frozen to grow the food they need to survive, but it means that at all times there’s a fire. In every home. You can see the light in the cold dark. Lots of people are dying, but... this winter will pass.” Thanatos takes a deep breath, expression twisting into something sad and lonely. “I hope when you leave, you’ll find yourself under Helios’ sky, and not Demeter’s.” Zagreus’ gaze drops to the ground, his shoulders dipping. The gentle breeze of Elysium seems to blow right through him. “I’m so sorry, Thanatos. You know I have to-“<br/>“I know.” Thanatos says quickly, cutting off his explanation. “You’re here now. I’ll focus on that.” Zagreus steps close to Thanatos, laying a hesitant hand on his lower arm. “If I get out, you’ll see me again. When the time is right.”<br/>“When that time comes,” Thanatos promises, laying his hand over Zagreus’. “I will carry you into the waters of the Styx myself.”</p><p>-</p><p>Zagreus enters the lounge, rubbing his neck to ease the ache that settles there. The broker is counting gems in his stall, pleased with the stack, the chef pushing around broth in a large pot and Dusa is surprisingly absent. But there is Thanatos, alone in front of the fire, nursing a bottle of nectar. It’s the one Zagreus gave him, he thinks. <br/>“Than.” He utters breathlessly as his feet carry him toward the other man. Thanatos meets his eyes, tempered and as cool as steel, and his lip curves into a smile. “Zag.” He holds up the nectar. “Join me for a drink?”<br/>Zagreus does not process the yes leaving his lips, but he is at the table in an instant. “It’s so rare to see you here.” Thanatos’s smile is steady, unchanging.<br/>“I have a little break. Long enough for you.”<br/>“Right.” He says breathlessly, and Thanatos laughs. The air is weighty, the atmosphere fragrant and hazy. Perhaps there was something to this adoration, after all. Thanatos seemed to be able to see the invisible connection between them, to wind the string around his finger and beckon, pulling Zagreus forward by his heart. Yes, that was recognition in his eyes. Unspoken, but there. Yes, he’d have a drink- he’d have a thousand more just to spend a little more time with Thanatos, busy as the god was. The busiest of all. And here he was, pouring Zagreus a glass of nectar and pushing it across the table and towards him. He shouldn’t be so taken aback, it was just a drink with a man he’d known for a long time, but the seconds that ticked away were as precious as diamond. He’s on the right path, he thinks, by the way Thanatos looks at him. He wonders if it would be overboard to pick him some flowers. What would it take for a kiss?</p><p>-</p><p>“I have to get going, Zag, but let’s do this again sometime.” Thanatos stands up and Zagreus follows, subconsciously prepared to walk him to the door, when there is in fact no door and Thanatos also has no use for doors. But he wants to linger, wants to walk just behind him and stop in the doorway, just for one last goodbye. “Yes, let’s. Maybe next time I can get a hold of some Ambrosia.” Thanatos clearly takes it as a joke, laughing a little, but understanding the sentiment.<br/>“Do let me know. I’ll repay you with some more of my time.” Zagreus is failing to control the emotions that roll off him in waves. “I’ll see you soon.”<br/>“Yes, goodbye Zag.” And he’s gone in a mist of green. Zagreus wants to scream, or something of the sort. He wants to throw himself onto his bed or cry. He can’t name how he feels and he can’t possibly begin to express it, so he just shakes with adrenaline and excitement as he moves back towards his room. He’s so in love. He’s so hopelessly and utterly in love. He wants nothing more than to melt into Thanatos’ arms, drag him to his bed and show him just how completely helpless he is to his own feelings. But they tiptoe and flirt and hold each other’s eyes, not indulging. He’s definitely getting that Ambrosia, and then he’s sharing it with Thanatos. And maybe when they’ve finished, Thanatos will let him taste the drink off his tongue.</p><p>-</p><p>“Ambrosia.” Thanatos says, slowly.<br/>“Ambrosia.” Zagreus repeats.<br/>They are stood at death’s balcony once again, and Zagreus holds the drink at its neck, thrust towards Thanatos, who does not reach out to take it. “Blood and darkness, how, in the name of Hades, did you get your hands on this?”<br/>“A couple of champions handed it over after a pretty swift defeat.” Zagreus says proudly. He does not mention that before he could leave the area, a loose pillar decided to cut his celebration a little short and send him hurling back home. “I thought that you and I could share it in the lounge.”<br/>“Bribing me into spending time with you?”<br/>“I believe most would call it a date.” That was bold, Zagreus knows. He braces for rejection.<br/>“Would they, now?” A soft smile has settled across Thanatos’ face, and Zagreus can’t help but mirror it. “Would they be right?”<br/>“Yes. They would be. I believe that taking you to the lounge is the most romantic thing I can do for you.”<br/>“I could think of another thing.”<br/>Zagreus hides the hitch in his throat with a breathless chuckle, scratching at the back of his neck. “I’ll walk you there?” Thanatos smirks before waving his scythe. He’s waiting at his preferred table when Zagreus enters the lounge. Zagreus perks up, despite himself. “I thought that walking you to your seat would be more romantic.”<br/>“Yes, and incredibly dull. This, however,” He points to the bottle. “Isn’t. So pop the cork- I’ve got something of my own to share.” Zagreus does. His gaze flicks back and forth to the god of death as he pours their separate drinks.<br/>“An embarrassing anecdote?” Instead of replying, Thanatos reaches into his tunic and places something on the table.<br/>“Ah, here. Behold!”<br/>This is... “You... found him?” Zagreus says gently, scooping up the sweet button-eye stuffed mouse with two tender hands. <br/>“A little while back. I was looking for an occasion to give him to you, and now it seems like the perfect time.”<br/>“Than, no-“ Zagreus attempts to hand the toy mouse over to Thanatos over the table, but Thanatos lays his hand over his, stopping the movement. Thanatos is warm, Zagreus realises. He’s warm. “Please.” Thanatos insists. “Use Mort to call upon me when you need me to deal some death. I’m always willing to assist.”<br/>Zagreus brings Thanatos’ hand into his grip and squeezes, the awe in his eyes pumping air out of Thanatos’ lungs. “Than...”<br/>The god of death clears his throat. “No need to start crying.”<br/>“There’s never a need for tears, but they seem to come anyway.” Zagreus tells him, wiping at the wetness gathering under his eyes.</p><p><br/>Thanatos accepts the change in subject, falling back into easy discussion that is bereft of courting gifts and his gaze that follows the line of Zagreus’ throat. “I don’t know about that.” Thanatos rubs his thumb over the back of Zagreus’ hand, who he is now realising he never let go of. “I’ve seen plenty of tears in my life.” <br/>“From me?” Zagreus chuckles.<br/>“From us both, but mainly from my work. There’s all kinds of sorrow, and all kinds of joy. Sometimes they are one in the same, but something that always seems to connect them is the tears.” The rub of his thumb is continuous, going round and round on the warm flesh of Zagreus’ hand. “Quite versatile as far as expressions of emotion go.”<br/>“Why are they needed?”<br/>“Relief. Mortals seem to begin life as a full cup of water, overflowing. They cry and they cry until the water settles. Then, as life continues, more water is added to the cup, but the water is only lost when it overflows. When they reach their limit, it seems, that’s when it can finally all escape. Gods are not dissimilar. I’ve had my fair share of sorrow, and tears.” Thanatos meets Zagreus’ eyes, letting go of a long breath. His hair tickles the slightly furrowed ridge of his brow. “When was the last time you cried, Zag?” The hand in his grip loosens slightly as Zagreus searches his mind for such an event, coming up short.<br/>“I... don’t remember.”<br/>“Come with me.” Thanatos tells him, hooking slender fingers around his wrist, and Zagreus hesitantly nods. </p><p>They are transported to Zagreus’ room, and Thanatos allows him a moment to survey his surroundings. The back of his neck heats. “Come on, lie down on the bed.”<br/>Well, this wasn’t exactly how Zagreus expected the night to go, slow and calculated as Thanatos is, but accepts the situation nonetheless. He lays down on his side on the bed, fiddling with the shoulder of his tunic. “You... Are you sure?” Thanatos looks at Zagreus for a long moment, and then startles, hand coming to nervously tug at his hood.<br/>“Blood and darkness, not that, not like that. That’s not what this is.”<br/>“Ah.” Zagreus says, holding back his disappointment. “What is it then?”<br/>“I just- Give me a second.” Thanatos drags his hand through his hair, collecting himself. “Okay.” Then, he slides onto the bed next to Zagreus, sat upright. Zagreus mirrors him, hand itching to reach out to the chthonic god. “I want you to cry.” Thanatos tells him. “Because I want you to feel better, Zag.”<br/>“...To cry?”<br/>“Yes, I... I know how hard all of this is for you.” Thanatos shuffles closer to Zagreus, laying a hand on his shoulder and rubbing the palm of his hand into the skin there. Zagreus resists the urge to shudder with delight. Thanatos dips his head alongside Zagreus’, nose brushing his hair. “I want you to be able to let it all out. Either with me or Meg.” Zagreus is closer to setting ablaze than he is to sobbing. His hand twitches relentlessly as Thanatos grows dizzyingly closer, his nose brushing against his jaw now. His fist clenches in the sheets at the contact.<br/>“I... I’m not sure if I can right now. I’m... happy.”<br/>“You can happy cry.” Thanatos completely hides his face, ducking into Zagreus’ shoulder, chest lingering close to his but not quite pressed against him. Zagreus seeks to change this and locks his hands at the mid-section of Thanatos’ back, pulling him against him. They fall together. “What I want right now...” Zagreus tries, tucking his chin into Thanatos’ shoulder in turn. “Is for you to touch me.”<br/>“We are touching...” Comes Thanatos’ wobbly reply, his hands tightening in the fabric of his tunic.<br/>“I think we could do with touching a little more.” <br/>Thanatos releases a deep, shuddering sigh. “I don’t think I have time. If you let me touch you, it will be days before you can pry my hands off your skin.” Zagreus gasps lightly, his breath stolen. Heat swims just beyond his eyes.<br/>“Blood and darkness.”<br/>“We must part, Zag.”<br/>“Give me half an hour.”<br/>“Zagreus, I can do no such thing.”<br/>“Ten minutes, I’ll keep my laurel on!”<br/>“Zagreus.”<br/>Zagreus sighs, releasing his grip on Thanatos. Thanatos pulls away enough to meet him face to face, and Zagreus thinks he’s fallen in love again. Thanatos looks like he’s already been the recipient of some talented hands, and he tries hard to collect himself. “I have some time, but not a lot. I’d rather... take my time when we decide to go further.”<br/>“You haven’t even kissed me yet.” Zagreus realises, the thought escaping his lips as soon as it dances through his brain. “We haven’t kissed.”<br/>“Well.” Thanatos brings his fingers to Zagreus’ jaw, running them along the hard edge there. “I’m sure I have time for that.” Zagreus is so helplessly lost. He falls into the current Thanatos guides him to, the gentle pull of his hand bringing their lips to touch. They sigh as they meet, lips pushing gently into one another, chaste and light. Zagreus tilts his head, bringing his own hands up to cup the sides of the other gods’ face, moving him to the opposite angle so that their lips may slot together. Zagreus mouths hungrily at Thanatos’ bottom lip, pulling it between his own and releasing it with a wet sound. Thanatos sighs once again as he melts into Zagreus’ touch, an effigy of wax at the mercy of a gentle warmth, one that does not destroy his material but mould him. A wax that does not burn skin but slips between fingers like wet clay. They shape each other, blending and moving until they are indistinguishable from one another. Death and life, inexorably drawn. Thanatos releases him far too soon. “I must leave.” He gasps. “But I’ll come back. Right back.”<br/>“Please.” Zagreus begs, gently letting go of his arm. “Don’t take too long.”<br/>“Don’t try and escape until I get back.” Thanatos says, composing himself and removing himself from the bed. “I won’t be long.”</p><p>And then he’s gone in a cloud of mist, and Zagreus falls back onto his bed, arms wide. He’s flush with arousal, and he stares at the ceiling with something akin to wist. Thanatos sure knows how to pick his moments.</p><p>-</p><p>“You know, perhaps if I held the promise of sex over your head when asking you not to escape, I could convince you to stay forever.”<br/>Zagreus and Thanatos lie in the prince’s bed, sheets tossed aside. The air is thick and heavy. Zagreus laughs and shifts his head where it lies on Thanatos’ bare chest. “That might work actually.”<br/>“I’m sure Lord Hades has plenty of work for you to keep yourself busy with here.”<br/>“Ugh, can we please not talk about my father right now? You’re the worst at pillow talk.” Zagreus shifts again, moving to sit upright. He plants himself on Thanatos’ torso, hands moving across the dark grey of his skin.<br/>“Sorry, sorry.” Thanatos cups Zagreus’ face, running his thumbs over his cheekbones. “I’m still learning how to… be in a relationship.”<br/>“Me too.” Zag tells him, moving one of Thanatos’ hands so he can kiss the palm. “Megaera and I weren’t what you’d call conventional lovers, still aren’t, and we don’t have to be either. We decide how to do this, yeah?”<br/>“Yeah.” Thanatos smiles. “I really like you Zag.”<br/>“I know. I really like you too.” Zagreus leans down and their lips meet again, Thanatos shifting his hands to his upper back and pulling them flush together, curling against one another. They grow desperate and more frantic again, and Zagreus pulls his lips away with a groan. “How long until you can go again?”<br/>“Give me five minutes.” Thanatos flushes, pulling Zagreus to his lips once again.</p><p>A kiss from death wasn’t as deadly as mortals made it seem. Zagreus thinks to himself that it might be the sweetest taste of all.</p>
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